48 lines
2.3 KiB
Markdown
48 lines
2.3 KiB
Markdown
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---
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title: "Am I allowed to say no?"
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date: 2020-07-06T21:34:42+02:00
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draft: true
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---
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People often take photographs for granted. It does seem obvious in our society
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that one likes to appear with their friend on Facebook, TikTok, what have you.
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Early on I started telling people I didn't want to have my picture taken. It
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has never really been clear why, and to me either to be honest. It might have
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been out of shyness -- trait that is still ever so present -- or because I
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didn't like the looks of me on them, or any other reason. But I kept to it.
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Growing up I started fiercely advocating for privacy and so this obviously
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made up to the list of reasons. How would I know what people having access to
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this picture would do with the information that I was at a specific place at a
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specific moment, or simply with my image. And I kept telling people not to
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take pictures of me.
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And despite saying all that, people kept teasing me about it, while some would
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plainly ignore my requests and take pictures anyway.
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When somebody insists, or asks why -- not that I mind having this discussion
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when they're not pointing a camera to my face -- all I hear is society
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reminding me that not wanting to appear on pictures isn't "normal".
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I can try to explain and justify this all I want, but the real issue here
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isn't that I am saying no, it's that nobody hears that I am saying no. What we
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really should be asking is why am I compelled to justify this behaviour for
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others to accept it, and not for others to respect me saying "no".
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**Consent**, to name it, is to ask for a "yes", and not to assume.
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*Note that I am specifically talking about photographs here, which is an
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issue I've had. I am sure non-valid/white/cis/males have had many other
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consent-related issues, and I can only sympathize.*
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<!-- « J'ai le droit de dire non ? »
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Dans le cas où un premier « non » est évoqué et la personne en face pousse et
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nous met plein de pression sociale dans la figure.
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Parce qu'on peut donner des raisons et expliquer, mais la vraie problématique
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ne se pose pas sur pourquoi est-ce qu'on dit non. Mais sur le fait qu'il n'est
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pas écouté.
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Donc ça pourrait être intéressant non pas de justifier ce refus, et de donner
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une raison suffisante pour que l'autre l'accepte. Mais lui faire se rappeler
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que c'est notre droit de refuser et que son devoir c'est d'écouter. -->
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