37 lines
1.6 KiB
Markdown
37 lines
1.6 KiB
Markdown
---
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title: "Am I allowed to say no?"
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date: 2022-03-21T16:23:42+01:00
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tags: [Consent, Norms, Privacy]
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aliases:
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- "/2020/07/am-i-allowed-to-say-no/"
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---
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People often take photographs for granted. It does seem obvious in our society
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that people like to appear with their friend on Facebook, TikTok, and what have
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you.
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Early on I started telling people I didn't want to have my picture taken. It
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has never really been clear why, not even to myself to be honest. It might have
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been out of shyness -- a trait that is still ever so present -- or because I
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didn't like the way I look in them, or perhaps some other reason. But I kept
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telling them.
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As I grew up I started fiercely advocating for privacy and so this obviously
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made it up the list of reasons. How would I know what people having access to
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this picture would do with the information that I was at a specific place at a
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specific moment, or what they would do with the image. And I kept telling
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people not to take pictures of me.
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And despite saying all that, people kept teasing me about it, while some would
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plainly ignore my requests and take pictures anyway.
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When somebody insists or asks why -- not that I mind having this discussion
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when they're not pointing a camera at my face -- all I hear is society
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reminding me that not wanting to appear on pictures isn't "normal".
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I can try to explain and justify this all I want, but the real issue here
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isn't that I am saying no, it's that nobody listens. What we really should be
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asking is why am I compelled to justify this behaviour to others in the first
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place, instead of them simply respecting me saying "no".
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**Consent**, to name it, is to get a freely given "yes".
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