35 lines
1.6 KiB
Markdown
35 lines
1.6 KiB
Markdown
---
|
|
title: "Am I allowed to say no?"
|
|
date: 2020-07-06T21:34:42+02:00
|
|
tags: [consent, norms]
|
|
---
|
|
|
|
People often take photographs for granted. It does seem obvious in our society
|
|
that people like to appear with their friend on Facebook, TikTok, and what have
|
|
you.
|
|
|
|
Early on I started telling people I didn't want to have my picture taken. It
|
|
has never really been clear why, not even to myself to be honest. It might have
|
|
been out of shyness -- a trait that is still ever so present -- or because I
|
|
didn't like the way I look in them, or perhaps some other reason. But I kept
|
|
telling them.
|
|
|
|
As I grew up I started fiercely advocating for privacy and so this obviously
|
|
made it up the list of reasons. How would I know what people having access to
|
|
this picture would do with the information that I was at a specific place at a
|
|
specific moment, or what they would do with the image. And I kept telling
|
|
people not to take pictures of me.
|
|
|
|
And despite saying all that, people kept teasing me about it, while some would
|
|
plainly ignore my requests and take pictures anyway.
|
|
|
|
When somebody insists or asks why -- not that I mind having this discussion
|
|
when they're not pointing a camera at my face -- all I hear is society
|
|
reminding me that not wanting to appear on pictures isn't "normal".
|
|
|
|
I can try to explain and justify this all I want, but the real issue here
|
|
isn't that I am saying no, it's that nobody listens. What we really should be
|
|
asking is why am I compelled to justify this behaviour to others in the first
|
|
place, instead of them simply respecting me saying "no".
|
|
|
|
**Consent**, to name it, is to get a freely given "yes".
|